Why Saints need a goalscorer whose name rhymes with Monday
As a club devoid of new songs, let's get some going that pay homage to our city's greatest son.
I have a funny relationship with Southampton. Not the football team, the city. I find it quite a sad place, and not one I’d ordinarily choose to spend time in. But I often do. And when I do, I love it, for my sins.
I grew up in Andover, a small town 25 miles away. My barber, who’s from neighbouring Salisbury, recently told me that he and many others refer to it as ‘Andover ye wallet’. That nickname sets the scene. It’s a pretty shit town. The sort that people long to leave but feel comfort when going back. Nothing much ever changes. Like a monkey with a miniature cymbal, the joy of repetition really is in you.
You’re probably wondering why I’ve shoehorned a Hot Chip lyric into a passage about Andover. Well, I’ve long thought their song ‘Over and Over’ should be my hometown’s official anthem. Give it a listen. Do it now if you want. Enjoy it x
Where were we? I love going to Southampton. Mainly because it ordinarily means I’m going to the football. But I don’t have a bond with the city or a deep connection to who it is as a place. In adulthood I’ve tried to bridge that gap. Without natural ties to the city, I’ve found that hard. In order to understand a city’s cultural and social fabric you kind of have to start doing more than simply watching a football match.
Food can be a big part of a city’s identity. But getting to know Southampton through it’s food when you don’t live there, have a finite window to eat when you do visit, and get 90% of your food inspiration from Instagram, is also fucking hard. But, step by step I’m getting somewhere. Although I guess that depends on how you define step.
I have three places I would whole-heartedly recommend to anyone wanting a good feed, or a lovely ale in the city. All three are independent, serve wonderful food and, from the few interactions I’ve had, seem to be run by lovely people. Big up Maurie’s, Soca Shack and Overdraft.
I still don’t know where to get good coffee in Southampton. I’ve tried a fair bloody few. I’m part of the metropolitan, liberal, leftist Cafeeinerati and therefore have a burning desire to pay £5 for a tiny flat white. So, if you know anyone serving delicious coffee in SO15, please hit me up. I despise bad coffee, so if it’s shit I will get angry. And, when I get angry, I foam at the mouth, and because of my aforementioned lefty, liberal disposition, that foam is green due to the sheer volume of smashed avocado I’ve eaten.
‘Is he going to bring this post around and connect it to Saints?’ What if I said no? Would you stop reading? Pathetic.
I am though, and more specifically the fact Saints need new songs. And I think I might have the formula to help Southampton fans connect more to the city, and create an atmosphere that has long been absent from our support.
Football fans have always sung songs with a deep-rooted connection to their city. In the 60s, Liverpool fans would belt out Beatles songs in unison, transporting some of the world’s greatest pop songs to the terraces of Anfield. Very recently I heard a clip from 1964 where Liverpool fans sing ‘She Loves You’ and it absolutely slaps. Thousands of scousers singing the ‘yeah, yeah, yeahs’ in unison is, in all honesty, fantastic.
That same decade, You’ll Never Walk Alone was made famous by local group Gerry and The Pacemakers before becoming Liverpool’s most iconic anthem. The 60s! That’s so long ago. A time when players would celebrate by immediately sticking both arms in the air, shocked by what they’d just done. You’ve scored Gerald. That’s it, both arms in the air. And now run with said arms still in the air until you reach a teammate whereby you’ll leap into their arms with a palpable effeminacy. Who’d have thought that 60 years on we’d have players ‘hitting the griddy’.
Back to songs. More recent songs with a tribal and geographical significance have been hugely important in building a tighter collective identity for fans. ‘We’ll Live and Die in These Towns’ by The Enemy is a great example for Coventry, ‘I Predict a Riot’ by the Kaiser Chiefs does the same for Leeds. I’m loath to mention it, but ‘North London Forever’ for Arsenal. What a truly terrible song that is by the way, which has made an already unlikeable fanbase more unlikeable.
A proper Arsenal song from the terraces, their Martin Ødegaard chant, also has ties to the local area. It’s to the tune of the darts theme-song ‘Chase the Sun’ by Planet Funk, an anthem that already had such resonance for people in that area given that the home of darts is Ally Pally, a cultural institution of North London.
So. With all that said, whose music could play this role for Saints? I’m afraid all roads lead to one man and one man only. It’s Craig David. It has to be Craig David. The son of a carpenter and a Superdrug shop assistant, who grew up on a Southampton council estate to become one of the most important figures in UK music history. One of the defining voices of our generation, and most importantly, a huge Saints fan. It’s Craig David. It has to be Craig David.
I’m sure your cogs are whirring. What songs work? How could we translate some of the most well-known songs in UK RnB to the terraces? Well, I can get us started. I’ve got two. Ignore the fact he’s very likely going to leave, but the first is for Mateus Fernandes. Maybe this could be enough for him to stay. You’ll love the Championship Mateus, I promise.
Re-rewind
When the crowd says Mat - FERNANDES!
Re-rewind
When the crowd says Mat - FERNANDES!
Re-rewind
When the crowd says Mat - FERNANDES!
You can just repeat it for as long as you want. I think it works? It could also be used for both Joe Aribo and Sam Edozie but, err, no thanks. For me, it’s Matty’s. For me.
And finally, let’s bring things full circle, back to the title of the article. We need a striker whose name sounds a bit like Monday. It can be as loose as we want. Two syllables ending in a y-sound. Imagine we had this song for Sadio Mané when he were banging em in all those years ago.
Mané
Signed from Red Bull Tuesday
He was scoring goals by Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday
He’s still on Sunday
Sadio Mané
Signed from Red Bull Tuesday
He was scoring goals by Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday
He’s still on Sunday
We’re called The Cink (pronounced ‘sink’) because of two reasons.
If you go clockwise around St Mary’s starting with The Chapel Stand, the four stands spell out C-I-N-K.
It’s also a little nod to The Pink, a local, longstanding and much-loved sports newspaper which ceased publication in 2017 after 119 years.
my excellent recommendations EXPLAINED
Maurie’s Sandwich Shop serves incredible focaccia sandwiches. You can pre-order on their website or rock up and choose your slab. They often have limited edition ones on rotation and I don’t think you’ll find a better sarnie in the country. You can see the care they’ve put into their small shop and every time I go I feel so lucky to have a place like Maurie’s in the city.
72 The Avenue, Southampton SO17 1XS
Soca Shack is a family-run Caribbean restaurant just outside of Southampton. The food is absolutely phenomenal and, whisper it quietly, I think it’s getting better. They also do jerk roast dinners on Sundays which I’ve not yet tried, but I’ve heard they’re sensational.
33 Manor Farm Rd, Southampton SO18 1NN
Overdraft serves tacos alongside an extensive beer selection, and is one of my favourite places to get food and a nice pint. It actually has three locations (Southampton, Shirley and Winchester). I sometimes find places serving great ales (I’m talking ya NEIPAs, ya West Coast IPAs, ya hazy pales), don’t care so much about their food. Overdraft clearly does and the grub is great. Their Southampton and Winchester locations are always busy and the vibe is never off. I ain’t tried Shirley but surely it’s superb.
29 Carlton Pl, Southampton SO15 2DX